The Key to Experiencing Loss as an Opportunity

How do we release relationships that aren't serving us any longer?

We may never have consciously chosen to divorce or seperate.

We may never have believed our loss would lead to something positive.

Now that the loss occurred, our willingness to acknowledge any growth or resilience we've developed as a consequence of the break up is an important step in healing and forward life movement.

The Key to Experiencing Loss as an Opportunity is to give ourselves permission to experience the loss and heart ache as an opportunity.

It takes courage to experience loss and heart ache as an opportunity. Your brain will scream "NO! DON'T DO IT!" 

Our brain says seeing the positive in this loss is a dangerous move because our brain serves us by trying to protect us.  Yet holding on to the loss is not going to protect us from future loss.  It is actually offering the opposite of protecting us from future loss. It is making us experience the loss again and again in the present, where it otherwise would not exist! 

It does take courage to give yourself permission to permanently pause the feelings of guilt.  It almost feels lonely to let go of the blame and shame that have been following us throughout our days.  What would it mean to, instead, realize that you're human, that you make mistakes? Once you answer these questions, giving yourself permission to move forward and build a good life becomes a product of your intentions rather than suspended disbelief.

How do we release relationships that aren't serving us any longer?

By extracting the lessons from the situation.

Visualize who were you before the relationship began.

What were your dreams?

What did you believe your life would be?

What did you aspire to?

What factors contributed to you choosing this particular person to have a relationship with, to settle down with?

How did you maintain connection in the relationship?

Who were you as an individual in the relationship?

As you gave in the relationship, did you maintain a connection with yourself?  

Did you lose yourself and your sense of individuality within the relationship?

What was your experience at the end of the relationship?

Draw your wisdom from the experience from within yourself.

Use this time.

Give this time meaning that allows you to move forward in a way that's optimistic, positive, and powerful for you.

It is not only releasing relationships.

It is also necessary to release the roles we held that no longer serve us.

If you have been in a situation where you feel that you've had codependency, that feeling that saving others was your responsibility. That role of the saver of others will not serve you going forward. We must welcome roles that facilitate who we are in this time.

Have you found yourself asking "If I don't have this drama to be working on, if I don't have this marriage to save, who am I?" To accept the courage and the desire to move forward, you must practice answering this question by listening to your heart.

If you've been in a tough marriage, it may have been dangerous to listen to your heart. 

If wanting more was going to create screaming and conflict, you may have learned to suppress your heart's truth to keep life calm or to avoid terrible things happening. You may feel you have lost the ability to hear your heart.

You have not and can not lose the power to hear your own heart's truth.  If you have been suppressing that voice for years, it's going to take a little time for it to come forward loud and clear. Practice giving voice to your heart's truth. Practice listening to the whispers. I encourage you. Don't abandon your heart or your truth.

This truth is you and this is your life.

Building self-trust incrementally by really listening to that inner voice is the key to experiencing loss as an opportunity. 

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