The Secret to Staying Fluid When Standing in the Headlights of Divorce

When we're feeling overwhelmed by divorce we freeze and see far fewer options for action and agency.

The house, the finance, legal issues,  coparenting; holding all of these challenges inside leaves us with feet in blocks of cement and a heart that is heavy. The holding weighs down the optimism we need to experience the alchemy of drawing lessons from our divorce and building a good life.

When we're feeling afraid and uncertain in the face of divorce, how can we lower our defensive posture and connect with possibilities for self-expression and creativity?

Do you love to paint? Do you find keeping a journal therapeutic? What dismisses your inner critic and quiets the critical voice inside?  What is the portal to  you? Go there! Do that!

For example, if you find you can lose the critic while journaling, plan to sit down, not to write anything in particular but to allow everything from your mind to pass down past your heart, down your arm and into your writing. No editing. This is about just allowing everything to pour out from every area of your life.

 We're capturing not judging. We're giving it a place other than on our shoulders or the forefront of our mind. Later we can come back and clarify, organize, reflect and engage. But first we must be willing to capture it all.

You're going to be amazed at how much energy and creativity becomes available when you become curious about change.  Change is movement and with that movement comes possibility.

You are closer to your breakthrough than you realize. This doesn't mean that the grief of  divorce is complete. There will still be pain and heartache. The breakthrough is you  being committed to moving forward in a way that reflects the life you want. That's the breakthrough.

Once you arrive at this mindset, every following step brings you toward transformation. There are small breakthroughs and there are bigger breakthroughs. But we lose the idea that our dreams are not possible or attainable.