Boundaries.
We think about boundaries as the willingness to say "no".
You're asked to be the team mom for your son's highschool football team. Should you follow your first instinct and volunteer, "Yes! I've got it covered!" you will be expected to make lasagna for 75 JV football players. But wait. Something else happens. After thinking "YES, Pick Me!" you hold your tongue and take a deep breath. "But if I don't sign up now, someone else will take the job and be loved and admired by all the other moms!" Your still breathing, deeply through all of these thoughts. Something clicks.
The voice inside asks: "What are you thinking? You have been getting food delivered most nights for your own family! You think that now that we're talking 75 JV Football Players and Lasagna something is going to change?"
You say, "Sorry, I can't."
You are proud of yourself for protecting your space, your boundaries. Your sanity.
Be proud of this demarcation.
Celebrate thinking of yourself first.
However, you are not done!
Saying "no" isn't enough.
Boundaries are more than saying no, they're also about saying "yes"!
"No, I can't make lasagna for 75 JV football players." And then......?
The entire point of boundaries is to be able to use that time and energy you contained for yourself.
For each thing you say "no" to, have another that you say "yes" to for you!
"Yes" to something that serves you and that's healthy for you.
"I'm not making lasagna for 75 JV football players. Instead, I'm going to read that book I have been wanting to read".
"....Instead, I'm going to enjoy some quiet in a warm sea salt bath."
Setting clear boundaries is not just saying "no", it's also saying "yes".
What are you going to follow your next "No" up with? Yes to ______________ ❤️
You got this!
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.