Be Willing to Recieve Support And Others Will Accept Your Support

Some of us believe that the less we ask for, the better. When we worry that we are a burden or are too needy, it is difficult for us to depend on others for help.  Young children need to see their parent as being good in order to feel safe in their care. When the parent is not responsive to the child’s needs, the child  assumes that it is their fault so that they can continue to feel the safety that comes from believing the parent is a good and trustworthy parent. Feelings of being a burden can lead to us as adults avoiding accepting the offerings of others.

If our parents and caregivers failed to acknowledge us and our needs when we were children, we may have developed the need to be self-sufficient and learned to ignore our own needs in order to avoid the shame we felt as a child from not having our needs met. We may come to believe that having needs is a sign of being "too much." The feeling of needing help or support can create anxiety for someone who learned growing up that being loved was dependent upon not being a burden and not needing others.

Ignore the voice of your inner critic.

Try to be aware of the negative thoughts that arise when someone offers to help.

Learn that accepting help does not mean we are selfish but rather is a normal part of being human and being in meaningful relationships. Accepting what others have to offer, furthers the cycle of give and take and makes it easier for others to accept our help in the future.

“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” Brene Brown