The Barely Noticeable Erosion of Sense of Self

During and right after divorce, feelings of loneliness and emptiness surround. The emptiness is the result of The Barely Noticeable Erosion of Sense of Self that occurs when we have been the codependent partner in a marriage.

Divorce tries to convince us that we are alone and trapped in a darkness that will never lift. We need to speak back, "You are wrong."

We can connect with ourselves and with others going through a similar experience and begin our healing journey.

Emerging from the marriage, we are left looking for the moment when all of this withering away of self started.  We sense that knowing when all of this began will allow us to travel back in time, recoup, and move forward again; this time whole. 

I do not believe pin pointing that exact moment is necessary.  It is this moment, the one we are in right now, that holds the answers we are looking for.

If we can stand tall, right in this moment, as much as we may wish to lie down and never get up, we can discover the answers we need. 

We can realize that despite what we have gone through life is full of unlimited possibilities and potential.   This is not about denying the pain. It is about going into it and finding the messages it brings. 

This feels uncomfortable for more reasons than the most obvious, which is that it hurts terribly. I take broken hearts very seriously.  If only, in all of this schooling I undertook, I could have learned something this valuable, how to cure emotional pain. Maybe that was what I was originally looking for, a way to take away the pain. 

While I can't take away, I can help you build back up. I can help you make space for what is true and intended for you. 

Recognition

Recognition is vital to uncovering the meaning of this moment and the inner self who is alluding you.

Remember, all of the thoughts, and prayers, and hopes, and awareness you pointed toward and offered others?  I need you to turn that lens toward you.

Look closely. Don't shy away.  Your needs and wants do not make you NEEDY they make you human and you deserve to have your wants and needs met.

Repression of your needs will not make you stoic. Repression of needs and emotions will make you depressed.  And in that depression, we lose you, we lose your light and all that you are here in this world to do.  The world needs you to take care of you.

Emotional Entanglement is a phrase that simply means putting another's needs above your own and giving away your own power. 

The sadness of this runs deep.

The number of times you refused to listen to your emotions thinking if you did you would never be loved.

Your emotions are the self calling to you.Telling you the story of your experience.  No more putting a sock in the mouth of your inner being so that  this most important of voices will be muffled and only the voices calling out the needs of others heard. 

What you lost is not who you are. 

When you realize this, you realize that your feelings about your self can no longer be dependent upon another's feelings about you.

Own the space within you. It can be as easy as getting a good night's sleep. Taking long hot showers or bubble baths. Saying NO when you feel NO. Drink water. Eat nourishing foods. 

This is all so basic we think "What could it possibly do?"

It begins the rewiring. It draws you into the arms of your self. It attunes your ear to your truth. 

I would love to share the FREE Break Up to Brilliance workbook with you!