The True Meaning Of Friendship In Romantic Relationships

What Does Friendship Mean to You?

Explore this list of questions for insight and clarity into the meaning of friendship in your life and in relationship with your partner.

• What does it mean to you to be a good friend? Do you feel that each of you is a good friend in this relationship?
• Is it important to have a balance between giving and taking in this friendship? How are you doing in that regard?
• How important is it for you to be able to express your true feelings to one another? 
• Is it okay if you and your friend tell each other when you feel angry, sad, or afraid?
• What’s the role of acceptance in this friendship? Can you rely on one another to feel affirmed? Supported? Valued? Is that important to you?
• What’s the role of truthfulness in this friendship? Is it important for you to share honest opinions? Is it okay to disagree?
• Is it okay to feel jealous or resentful if this friend has close relationships with other people? Is it okay to express those feelings?
• How important is trust and confidentiality in this friendship? What happens if you or your friend betrays that trust?
• What’s the role of intimacy in this friendship? How much sharing is enough? How much is too much?
• How important is it for you to have the same ideas around monogamy or commitment to marriage? Do you have this in common?
• How dependent should you be on one another? When asking for a favor, how much would be too much?
• What’s the role of adventure in this friendship? Are you both satisfied with where it stands?
• What’s the role of entertainment or amusement in this friendship? Are you both satisfied with where it stands?
• How important is reliability in this friendship? Do you see it the same way? 
• How important is affection in this friendship? Are both of your needs being met?
• How important is intellectual stimulation in this friendship? Are you both satisfied in this regard?
• If one of you acquires a lot of money or status than the other, how would that affect your relationship?
• How important is it to agree about spiritual matters or religion? Do you agree on those topics?
• How important is it for you to agree about politics? Do you agree?
• How important is it for you to pursue the same recreational or leisure time activities? Are you both satisfied with where this stands?
• How important is it for you to have the same philosophy of family life or parenting? Do you share the same values in this area?

There are no right or wrong answers. Insight into your personal philosophy on friendship is vital to deepening your unique bond with your partner.

This exercise is based on an exercise created by Dr. John Gottman which appears in The Relationship Cure.

Looking for help breaking out of destructive communication patterns? Schedule your Therapeutic Relationship Coaching Intro Session to build a stronger connection, heal from trauma, understand yourself and your partner better, and recognize the strengths in the relationship that you can build on to make powerful change.