Divorce is a major life quake at any age and is one of life’s most profound challenges. When adults separate from their partners later in life, the emotional and practical complexities can be especially stressful.
While divorce has declined amongst people in their 20's and 30's, the divorce rate among adults age 50 and older has surged upward.
The Challenges of Later Divorce
The logistics and stakes involved in getting divorced at midlife and later can present unique challenges, Those who separate finances later in life may have more assets involved. If they married when they were young, their shared social ties may stretch back decades. Their children—whether young kids, teenagers, or adults themselves—will be emotionally impacted in differing ways. Even children who are out of the house will experience very real consequences and there may be a need for renegotiating relationships or a need for additional support.
Research of adults who divorced at 50 or older found that worries about finances and loneliness were the two most pressing concerns expressed. The adults described positive aspects as well, including an improvement in overall happiness, liberation from their ex-spouses, and a sense of enhanced independence and freedom. With current Increased life expectancy divorcees in their 50s and over potentially have decades of relatively good health ahead.
Divorce Coaching & Divorce Therapy
As a psychologist, I help my clients foster and maintain emotional resiliency and provide support as they navigate losses, both emotional and literal. Such losses may include grieving the loss of a long-planned future with a spouse and loss of connections with others, such as extended family and mutual friends.
I also work with clients who are contemplating divorce to support them in thinking through the extent to which their frustrations with their partner may be related to identity-related challenges that can emerge later in life. Contemplating divorce in later life may be accompanied by a recent retirement which can significantly impact self-esteem and feelings surrounding identity. Life is impacted by the pressures of younger children, their own or grandchildren, or their children may have moved out, altering the landscape of parenting.
It is critical to figure out what our core values and goals are in this new stage of life and who we want to be at this stage of life, either with or without the divorce. We often need to work through whether the feelings spurring contemplation of divorce are issues with the relationship, feeling the relationship is empty or like a decision to stay married is just settling or if the real issue is with themselves.
Stepping Into The Life You Deserve
