Dr. Jodi Peary joins me to discuss Supporting Families Through Divorce. As a psychologist and former family lawyer, Dr. Jodi shares her thoughts on how to navigate the complexities of divorce, ways to lessen the impact on families and help people become enlightened co-parents. Dr. Jodi opens up about what her own relationships taught her about marriage and divorce.

Dr. Jodi Peary is a psychologist and former family lawyer who helps individuals and families emerge from divorce happy and whole and helps them to co-parent in a way that promotes the well-being of all family members.

Highlights

How to handle high conflict co-parenting sessions
Answering the Question “are we messing up our children”
How to share news of a separation/divorce with children
How Dr. Jodi’s own experiences shaped her understanding of divorce
The impact of the extended family on the divorce
Using rituals to help children navigate divorce

Dr. Jodi’s programs Breakup to Brilliance and Empowered...

You’re on the way!

You have a goal in mind.

You’re working hard to reach it.

You may seek to achieve something personal.

You might be, with full focus, concentrating solely on your career.

Whatever it is you want, you’re hungry for it.

You can’t wait to see the culmination of all this hard work.

…only everything seems to be moving so slow…

7 Quick Things You Can do Today to Build Momentum

You’re lacking momentum.

Momentum is what pushes you into action.

It speeds you up as you work the steps and keeps you going.

 So, what do you do when momentum is lagging?

A question that sounds like a sonata to my psychologist ears.

Easy peasy my friend.

You find ways to build it.

Try these 7 quick tips guaranteed to make s**t happen:

Visualize the Future

Ask yourself, "Where do I want to be in 6 months? What about next year or the next five years?"

Seeing yourself in the future is a powerful and positive way to maintain momentum....

We strive for more self-control. We imagine how much easier life would be if eating right wasn’t such a struggle or a trip to the gym wasn’t a fight with self, or waking up early didn't mean conquering the desire for an extra hour of sleep.

You may think self-discipline and you don't go together.

Do you catch yourself beginning sentences with the phrase: "I've never been good at ........"?

Fill in the blank.

I promise this: you and self-discipline can go together better than Ben goes with Jerry.

That is because, thankfully, self-discipline is a trait that anyone can master. You don’t have to be born with the ability. In fact, by following a few simple tips, you can start improving your self-discipline skills almost immediately.

Here’s how:

10 Tips for Improving Your Self-Discipline

1. Understand What’s Particularly Tempting

We all have a weakness. Whether we can’t say no to the salty snacks or wind up staying up too late night after night,...

Anxiety, depression and information or electronic overload may be eating away at your memory faster than you can chow down on a bowl of Quaker Cinnamon Oat Squares.

Clients tell me they can't remember what they did the week-end before or can't remember what they ate for breakfast by the time dinner rolls around.  Sometimes they share that they can't remember the good days, the content days, the days without drama.

 The Tool to Capture the Days that Make Up Your Life.

Get in the Habit of Keeping a Journal

Do you have a difficult time remembering what you ate for breakfast this morning, unless it just happened?

Do you remember what you did on your last day off?

Is your head so full of thoughts that your heart has wondered if it will ever be asked to make an appearance?

Do you wonder whether your life has purpose?

Keeping a journal is a great way to become grounded in your everyday experience. It documents more than just birthdays, holidays, and dreadful drama days, the days...

• Are you single and worried about finding a partner?
• Or, are you in a relationship and worried about how secure the bond is? 
• Are you worried about the toll stress is taking on your life?
• Are you a parent worried about how your child will fare during the upcoming school year?
• Are you going through a break up and feel worried how that break up will affect your family?

There is always so much to worry about, or so it seems.

It is normal to worry. Too much worry, however,  creates anxiety and may impact your physical and mental health.

If you chronically suffer from a knot in your neck, grind your teeth at night, bite your nails, find yourself feeling distracted, or experience feeling out of control, it may be related to anxiety.

I believe that worry _______________________.

Fill in the blank!

Worry and anxiety feed each other. We worry because we mistakenly believe that worrying will give us an extra level of control over something we feel out of control over...

Avoid Burnout with These 3 Tips

Burnout is a real and quite damaging condition. Once you find yourself suffering from burnout, it can be difficult to turn your life around. This is why it is necessary to take steps to try and avoid burnout.

1. Set Boundaries

No matter what your profession may be, it’s important to have boundaries. You can’t be available around the clock; this is simply impossible. So, to prevent burnout, it’s critical to establish boundaries of times you will not be available. This means that you won't be in the office or available by phone or email during these times. If you are in a management position, it might help to post these hours somewhere or adjust your email auto-reply, so people know you will answer as soon as you are available.  

2. Have A Work-Life Balance

Besides just setting boundaries, you need to have time to do things that aren't workplace-related. This means you have time for your hobbies,...

5 Ways to Experience Personal Growth even in an Upheaval

When you’re in upheaval, you tend to hit survival mode pretty quickly. Your life becomes focused on just getting through the day. Beyond that? You don’t have the time or energy to care.

Now more than ever, you need to take advantage of what time you have for personal growth. When we are challenged is where we rise to the occasion the best. During upheaval, our minds become busy, and we start thinking more. It’s a great time to take advantage of a mind made flexible by circumstances and learn something new.

In short, this is an excellent time for personal growth.

Furthermore, the act of bettering yourself gives you a focus, something you can control right now, at this moment, helping your mental state. It’s all about attitude and the idea you can keep growing, even now. How?

You Learn to Embrace Adversity

There’s no doubt upheaval can make a mess of your life. But...

From the day we are born until the day we die: Lifespan

What we can know, see, do (i.e. reach) today: Wingspan

The family is a system, all members influence each other. The family system changes with transitions, such as kids going off to college, marriage, divorce. Despite these changes, the family continues to exist and be a source of influence on our lives. The family system is a powerful influence on the relationships experienced by each of its members, relationships both inside and outside of the family system.

The family system continues to influence the quality of personal relationships across the life span.

It is well known that the experience of parental marital conflict and divorce may result in
long-term consequences for social outcomes and personal relationships in
young adults whose parents get divorced. The experience of parental conflict being particularly troubling for kids. The divorce itself can be a turning point in terms of conflict.

The continuing influence of...

QUESTION:

Sally's Questions: Our family has a lot of trauma with divorce, broken promises and relationship issues. There are also abandonment issues. This involves my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members. Everyone has contributed to the trauma in some way.

 I want to move past the trauma and let go of this pain.

 I’m tired of letting the past weigh me down all the time. I’m tired of being controlled by what they did. I also feel unsafe. I worry all the time. I am scared to try new things or start relationships.

 How do I learn to let go of the family trauma?

Everyone keeps telling me I can’t heal without forgiveness. They’re convinced I have to forgive my family for the trauma. I feel like I have done this, but I won’t let certain family members back into my life.

Despite forgiveness, I still don’t trust them.

What can I do to balance forgiveness with trust?

ANSWER:

Sally, awareness is the...