Loneliness In Teens Increases Risk for Internet Addiction

Loneliness has increased during the pandemic, and it's prevalent among adolescents. Also the risk of compulsive internet use amongst teens. Teens look for belonging from the internet.  With the pandemic they're spending longer periods of time online.

There's been research, the findings: loneliness is a risk factor for adolescents being drawn into compulsive internet use.

 Internet addiction eases up as they grow older. The concern for internet addiction relates to impacts it can have right now on teens.

 Compulsive internet use is linked to depression, takes up time and disrupts sleep patterns.  It's related to poor academic success.

 In Enlightened Coparenting emotion focused parenting can make a difference. Children of distant parents had a higher risk of drifting into detrimental internet use.

The positive: parenting can make a difference. Be curious about what's going on in your teens heart and mind.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ABOUT CHILDREN'S WORDS SPOKEN OUT OF ANGER

A  note I received from a mom devastated by the news that her child said he wanted to live with his dad:

I am also very concerned that my son now wants to live with his dad. He hasn’t been very nice to me .......His dad won’t talk to me and I have given up trying. That would change everything. Each day just seems to be getting worse for me. 

We discuss this hurtful situation in Module 1 of the Enlightened CoParenting Course.

Here is an excerpt from the course:

When your child throws a temper tantrum, becomes angry, and blames you for ruining their life don’t take their behavior personally.

Realize that in many instances when children blame one parent or another for the divorce occurring their blaming is a way of coping and a defense against feeling overwhelmed by the many changes they are experiencing in the course of a short period.  It is often not meant against the parent personally.

It is not easy to refr...

Hey there!
I want to answer one of my most frequently asked questions:
Is it worth it for me to learn enlightened coparenting if I am coparenting with a narcissist?

Parents with pathological narcissism tend to engage in behavior that is damaging toward the other parent and children. It is not so much the loss of contact with the child that triggers them as their experience that that person should be available to them and is  not. They experience the loss of what the child provided to them.

These are the characteristics I see in these situations.

See if you recognize any of these characteristics:
Treat child as an extension of themselves, not as a unique individual with their own needs and feelings different from the parents.

Fighting over issues big and small.

Overreaction and drama to imagined slights.

When threatened with the loss of control over their own children, they look to the child to have their own ego needs for love and approval met.

Self absorbed and unresponsive to their...

Self Compassion Guide

What Does It Mean to Be Self Compassionate?

Through our thoughts and our behavior we treat ourselves with the same care and kindness as we would someone we love and care for. 

Self Compassion involves listening to our needs, rather than primarily focusing on what others want us to do or what the outside world dictates.

Goal for this Self-Compassion Exercise

Become aware of how you show yourself compassion and use this as a starting point for introducing more self-compassion. 

The Physical Component

Allowing your muscles to soften, release the tension from your body.

How do you care for your body?

What are some ways in which you could release tension and stress in the physical sense, or what are some techniques that already work?

The Mental Component

Not trying to regulate your thoughts, allowing them to come and go.

How do you care for yourself mentally?

How could you allow thoughts to come and go with greater ease: less regulation, less fighti...

Eliminate Relationship Patterns that Serve You No Longer

Learning to trust ourselves again after divorce.

"One of the hardest parts of healing from past relationships, is learning to trust ourselves again."

When we subconsciously play out patterns in adult relationships that we learned from growing up in our families of origin, subconsciously hoping to heal the pain from those early days, and these adult relationships have led to heartbreak and pain - it makes us afraid to trust ourselves again.

Do you remember the last time you felt certain that you were doing what was best for you?

After a painful break-up we have an enormous opportunity to dive deeper into connection with our authentic selves  and regain trust in ourselves. 

How can we learn to trust ourselves again?

Through forgiveness and self-compassion.

Remember that every path you’ve walked, every choice you’ve made has provided you lessons that you can now use here, now, today!

The amazing fact that you notice your doubt...

Ideas about Marriage were passed down to us from the generations of family before us. 

Some say divorce is a sign of failure, or being a quitter, a lack of commitment and courage.  

You know that is not true. 

Divorce does not mean failure. 

CoParenting does not mean an unhappy childhood. 

Enlightened CoParenting is a method that enables you and your children to emerge from divorce happy and whole.

Many different things have brought you to this crossroads  

A holistic understanding of our lives over time requires us to reflect upon the many, many factors that will shape our lives over time from birth to death.

When we have a holistic understanding of our lives over time we see that there have been many, many factors that shape the events of our lives over time from the day we are born until the day we die. 

I help couples with kids remain a family even if they are no longer husband and wife. I want to show you what is possible if you see divorce as a trans...

How to Promote Positive Self Esteem in Your Teens After Divorce 

The topic of how to promote positive self esteem in teens after parents divorce is one my clients bring up often.

The teen years are complex and nearly all parents have had some concern at one time or another about their teen’s well-being.  This concern increases when teens are living through a parent’s divorce. Parents worry they have added additional stressors to an already intense transition period making it harder for their teen to cope.

There has been quite a bit of research over the past decade into depression and suicidal behavior among adolescents. This research has uncovered evidence of a relationship between self-esteem, hopelessness, and loneliness and it's relationship with depression and suicide attempt behavior in teens.

These studies suggest that we pay careful attention to an adolescent's self-esteem and especially so when they are missing out on the emotional and social support offered by peer and/or...