Calling all parents!

What if you had a coparenting blueprint that helped your children emerge from divorce with confidence!?

That’s exactly what Promoting Positive Self-Esteem In Children - a FREE guide - is designed to do. 🙌

As a psychologist and former family law attorney, I have spent two decades working with individuals and families to help them emerge from divorce happy and whole.

And I am also all too familiar with the effects that negative self-esteem can have on a developing child. 

In this FREE guide, it is my mission to help parents everywhere raise happy, healthy and confident children with loving guidance. ❤️

For parents considering, going through, or who have already divorced, this guide can help you  discover:

✨ How self-esteem plays a role in childhood 

✨ How their self-esteem influences their choices and relationships later in life

✨ A comprehensive strategy including 8 Steps you should take to help your child develop positive self-esteem

It's the New Year.  Many of the changes in 2021 will come from external factors, i.e. a vaccine, weather conditions, the economy  etc.. 

However, the most potent changes will come from changes in our thinking.  

A change you cultivate within will make extraordinary, awesome, and welcome change in your life.  It will also influence positive change in the lives of others.

How many times have you been told:

PREPARE FOR THE WORST. 

As if preparing for the worst will keep the worst from happening. 

Our mental playlists are loaded with stories predicting worst case scenarios.  We believe that telling ourselves these stories will protect us. 

We must come to know that by visualizing and preparing for the worst, we predict and perpetuate the worst actually happening. We plant toxic seeds for failing to fulfill our dreams.  

Why do we plant the seeds of toxic thoughts again and again and make it harder for ourselves to accomplish our goals?  

Each person's playli...

Enlightened CoParenting™ emphasizes emotional connection with your child, regardless of whether or not they are with you or their coparent. No need to wait for your parenting time or a special occasion to show affection to your toddler. Maintaining that heart to heart connection with them, helps both of you through periods of separation from each other. 

This checklist offers a way to offer loving actions to your child each day, electronically or by phone when you are apart and physically when you are together.

I am joined by other psychologists and specifically developmental psychologists in suggesting these heart centered techniques.

1. Perform a simple, personalized ritual at the beginning and end of parenting times. For example: morning hug after waking up, daddy/mommy dance when child returns from time with other parent, or sing song you made up together at each bath time etc.

2. Engage in mindful conversation. Be curious about what your toddler is thinking and feeling.  Ask question...

It's the New Year.  Many of the changes in 2021 will come from external factors, i.e. a vaccine, weather conditions, the economy etc.. However, the most potent changes in your life can arise solely from changes in your thinking.  So amazing right?  Something you can work with totally on your own and make extraordinary change in your life and also influence positive change in the lives of others.

We are socialized to prepare for the worst and to believe that our preparation will insure the worst will not happen.  But visualizing and preparing for the worst without opening our minds to our talents and possibilities for growth nearly predicts the worst actually happening.

Many of us go through life playing top hits from a mental playlist loaded with stories that purport to predict a future full of worst case scenarios. These stories, that we mistakenly believe might protect us, are actually the toxic seeds for failing to fulfill our dreams. These toxic patterns of thinking permeate our ...

"It’s important to remember that ‘togetherness’ is both an objective experience and a psychological one.” Gregory Walton

Making sense of our feelings when we are experiencing loneliness is not easy. Mindfulness about what our feelings of loneliness are rooted in shifts the way we make sense of things. We realize that opening our minds to a new perspective on what we are experiencing can qualitatively change our sense of self, others, and the social situations in which we find ourselves.

Physically together and psychologically together are distinct things. You can be with others physically yet feel lonely. You can also be physically separated yet still feel connected. Even if you are each alone, you both know that you are in each other’s thoughts. That sense of connection is something we have the ability to cultivate intentionally. 

If you are feeling lonely, you certainly are not alone in that experience. With the pandemic raging across our country limiting our opportunities...

Imagine your child getting double the recommended dose of a vaccine, waiting alone outside of the school gymnasium because their parent did not show up, or missing the field trip to the Musical Instrument Museum because their permission slip was not returned. Coparenting is sometimes logistically challenging, yet certain parenting practices not only make coparenting easier for you, they make being coparented  easier for your child.

This tip will seem ridiculously obvious and yet, trust me, as a psychologist, I have seen  that it so often is not practiced by coparents.

Share with your coparent all information about your children that you would want shared with you.

Yes, that's it! This is smart and simple guidance that makes so much sense (even if you deplore your ex)!  It also supports your child's continuing safety.

An easy 2 minute email or 47 second text will prevent the logistical nightmares, inconveniences, and broken little hearts you are knocking yourself out in other wa...

Five simple mindfulness practices that you can employ today to shift from high-conflict to Enlightened CoParenting:

1. Remain attuned to subtle changes in your children’s behavior.

Responding to a highly emotional child with patience is much easier to do when a child is not completely overwhelmed by what is bothering them.

By noticing subtle changes in your child’s behavior you gain the opportunity to address the challenges your child is experiencing before those challenges become overwhelming to them. 

When problems feel approachable to children and approachable to us we are better situated to solve them with less anxiety along the way.

2.Take the time and make space for learning how your child is perceiving the many changes that separation and divorce brings. 

Doing so builds our empathy muscle.

Even if you are facing the lengthy to-do list your lawyer gave you, trying to translate  financial information, or engaging confronting other legal demands, make sure to paus...

As a parent who is thinking about divorce, going through divorce, or divorced, you have more than likely experienced concern, fear, and anxiety about how your children will be impacted by divorce. 

You want to continue providing your children with a healthy and happy childhood and to give them the tools to build resilience. But how, amidst the lifequake that is divorce?

Enlightened Coparenting is a coparenting journey to improve your coparenting relationship, deepen your relationship with your children, and to reconnect with your self and engage in self care. 

All 3 relationships, coparent to coparent, parent to child, and parent to self, are important in Enlightened CoParenting, as all 3 are essential to healthy coparenting.

Enlightened CoParenting fits perfectly into every different type of family. For all families, divorce has simultaneous effects on every area of family members' lives. This is the source for the intense stress, uncertainty, anger, feelings of in...

What is a child-centered divorce?  A simple question often followed by a very long, difficult to understand answer.

An Easy To Understand Definition of Child-Centered Divorce:

A divorce in which parents create an environment where both parents and lawyers respect the decision to place the children’s emotional and physical needs at the forefront of their minds when making decisions related to separation or divorce.

If we are honest, child-centered divorce is often what we say we want at the beginning of the divorce process and what we continue to want in our hearts throughout the process but what we are deathly afraid that to do because we think it means our soon to be ex will take us to the proverbial cleaners or leave us destitute.

Guess what?  A child centered approach actually helps us to find resolutions where both parents can live separately and yet live a good life together with their children.

To read my post about why a child-centered divorce makes good economic sen...